Why me?

Not being the most organised person in the world (well, that's not true, I am very organised, but I just don't like getting up early in the morning) I rarely bring my lunch to work and usually grab something to eat in the canteen. NEVER AGAIN!!!

There was a rather nice-looking pizza for lunch so I had a slice of that, sat down with some colleagues and tucked in. As I cut into the pizza for the 2nd time, I saw something sticking out of the base. 'Aha!' I thought. 'A piece of dried herb stalk perhaps? Just the thing to stick in my throat and make me choke.' So I pulled it out. It wasn't a piece of dried herb stalk, but it was something that would have stuck in my throat and made me choke ... A PUBIC HAIR!!!

Lucky me. I shall never eat in that canteen again. If this had been McDonald's I'd have some shit-hot 'no win no fee' company negotiating me millions in compensation. This being the University I haven't even had the courtesy of a reply to my complaint from the head of catering.